Hot Summer Nights - shows in August

No but for real, the temperature has been so intense in August that multiple people in both shows were pulled out due to overheating and falling out. As a shitty bystander with no real skills, I could do nothing but make way as the staff escorted those out and made a pathway. 

I am not a drinker, but the heat has been enough to prevent me from even nursing an adult beverage in the last couple of shows. Still I consider myself only lucky in that it didn’t happen to me, and caution anyone out there to stay hydrated as best as they can. 

PSA done! Let’s talk the first of the two sets that I checked out in August, Clipping at Mohawk. This is one of those acts where my husband and I interests intersect. He hates musicals (boo right) but loves weird horror rap and harsh noise, I hate harsh noise (it’s lame) but love musicals and weird rap. 

In fact my husband and I have been so stoked about the show, that I made him buy these tickets over a year in advance (the bots have me terrified that I will not get a ticket in time). This show was postponed for several months, but the promoters made good on honoring the tickets when a date was settled on. 

It was worth the wait. I mean maybe the temperature would have been more reasonable on the original date, but it isn’t like they wasted their time. 

The show starts off with two mixers and Daveed Diggs, and while their music was cohesive and sounded like perfection they also hit the stage performing with Daveed Diggs nailing his lyrics (and the speed in which he is known for delivering them) each and every time. 

Their song selection is also stellar, as they are not actively promoting a specific album (although they call out the theme space album Splendor & Misery). Their set pulls from several albums, they performed fan favorites, while also stringing the songs together to tell a familiar but new narrative. It is a close second to the Ca7riel y Paco Amoroso show when it comes to theme and story.

And the performer themselves, to die for. In both acts, the vocalists are the face of the group and the names you are probably aware of (that is just the way it is). It is the vocalists in the groups who manage to hit the notes while playing an instrument that deserves accolades. After a couple of songs, Daveed Diggs made sure to introduce the pianist who joined in with their haunting vocals. I wish I paid enough attention to their name because they were amazing and such an amazing addition to the songs. I know, I am so disappointing!

And yet I want to know rub in your face that I then closed out my August shows with seeing Franz Ferdinand at Stubbs. 

This was a nostalgia purchase, I listened to their first album on repeat and cut their band photos out of Spin to decorate my binders with. This was also an opportune purchase since they were part of the summer deals offered by the dreaded overlord Ticketmaster. Boooo, unless the ticket is somewhat reasonable, then I will consume god damn it!

This may have been the most packed show I have been at, at this venue. Even though it is a large outdoor space it was packed. And the mech booth line snaked forever. I did end up getting my third pick shirt, but only after I couldn’t hold the pee from chugging tall boy water cans any longer half way through the set. Let’s talk about that shall we. I was wearing an adorable one piece jumper that dragged because I wanted to make a statement. But this is a venue with port a potties and is all dusty dirt everywhere else. It was an impractical outfit choice if you are afraid of unclean bathroom situations, so yes I performed acrobatic feats of maneuvering in my dumb bitch outfit. But I still maintain I was cute!

The crowd was diverse, and may have lead to why there were so many people (who also passed out). Young, olds, college kids on their first date (barf), music youths on their first bro outing (that one was okay I guess), and lone middle age ladies like myself. Overall this crowd wanted this shit, they didn’t mind the ungodly amount of encore songs that were played and they danced!

For what I would consider to be one my age groups’ legacy rock acts, Franz Ferdinand made me proud. Their records retain their sound, while adding to their catalog. Judging them on this show, they love to perform for their crowd and will give their fans what they want. Thinking about my personal experience, they played all the need-to-hear-hits well before the encore, so I bailed after the second encore song because the heat and I needed to walk to my car and get to a gas station with light and a stall. 

And I did, just barely, but I made it. 

Two Concerts in June

Instead of giving these two acts each their own post, I will instead cram June’s shows into one and act like I did not do my usual thing and forget about this blog for months on end. Usual excuse applies, I have been living people! But on a barely functioning level. I think this is what they call adulthood.

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In the beginning of June, I had what I feel is my LCD Soudsystem I-was-there moment, I went to my first CA7RIEL y Paco Amoroso show. I like to claim I don’t do the big acts (and forget about the times I went to see Lady Gaga with my family or was given New Kids on the Block tickets due to my love of their cartoon), cause you know that even the crowd of a small show gives me the heebie-jeebies, but this was the show that may change my mind. Price wise it was not killer because I took advantage of some Ticketmaster Summer Nights deal (this will also apply to the Franz Ferdinand show that I will end up writing about soon), although I was worried because it was for the lawn of the Moody Amphitheater. 

This was a new venue for me and it is downtown, so the idea of locating it and parking was making me nervous. Since it is downtown, I ended up making use of the parking garage right next to it, so pricing was not ideal. It was kind of worth it, to me at least, for the distance to the venue and the ease I had heading back to the car once the show was over. 

The venue itself is a weird location as it is adjacent the block that contains a major hospital. The block it is carved out of, seems to be an outdoor performance space and park, maybe like the less cool version of Red Rocks? The sound was amazing and did carry to the back lawn even though I couldn’t see shit, but what must that be like as a patient? Is it worth the hospital bill, depending on the show and your luck, or does it make the outrageousness of the American health care system that much worse if it is a show for a trash act that you hate? I have so many questions and very few answers for you this time around with this blog, don’t I?

Anyway the venue is massive and has some downsides, but it is better then the Circuit of Americas so if I had to pick between those two I would give my preference to Moody Amphitheater each time. Given the size of the act, this will be the poison I would prefer if I was trying to see a massive production. 

But what about the band? Amazing and could be my favorite of the year. 

This was a concert that had a theme and matches to the recent album, Free Spirits. It was a surreal show that both embraces and satirizes society’s current obsessions with fame, wellness, and cults. The set design reflects a high end clinic and before the show starts they included insane quotes taken in context from celebrities and famous people (Gandhi, Queen Goop, and Steve Jobs are cited). Their clothing choices also reflect the theme, both in the merch they were selling and what they were wearing on stage. You can see them playing with proportions between the two in the athleisure and health goth sets that they wore. 

Most of the songs played were from their new album, but they still incorporated fan favorites (which is any song they have released). These were peppered throughout, they were fit it in a way that still made sense to the narrative in their show. They had a full band, and moved across the stage in rehearsed coordination, dancing in a style mimicking the fitness crazes of the day. There was a smoothness as they moved between performing their music, incorporating different instruments, and putting on a show by doing tough as fuck exercises (like the battle ropes seen in Crossfit or the Warrior pose in a log flow - hey that can be tough for the unbalanced). It is astounding to think they were doing this throughout the world tour night after night, still hitting their mark and notes while making it looking easy and natural. 

And the lyrics. As someone who only speaks English, I have made the effort to find the English translations because their words have meaning and full of word play. This is an act that uses their entirety to make a song, and may be even why they reference Lady Gaga in their new album, because they are making pop art with their music.  

Not all crowds dance in Austin, damn youths, but this was one that you saw people moving. They make weird hiphop that people are still willing to throw their ass to, and without demanding it of the crowd. We joined in because we were moved too, they didn’t tell us to, our bodies did. They played most of the songs I wanted to hear, and ended it with two that might be an encore staple for them but still had us losing our collective minds. A Crazy Frog song was remixed into their song “Beto’s Horns.” I have the feeling they are really too young (they would have been 12) to have experienced how much that damn song was everywhere as a ringtone or ringback option, but the nostalgia for this old bitch was reallllllllll (those five extra years really make the difference).

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Starting and ending the month solid, let’s move onto the date night with a favorite band for my family, Lip Critic. My husband got me into them and mentioned how they are on the same label as some other bands he knows I dig (they are in the company of DJ Rashad, Idles, Interpol, Geese, and PJ Harvey). Our tastes do not always overlap, but when it comes to weird beats that could be described as abrasive in it’s danceability… well we are Venn Diagraming it up and meeting in the middle with those shared interests. 

It was at 29th Street Ballroom, and they are an even younger group of dudes touring with another young group of dudes who were dressed like the nineties was still happening even though their unlined faces lets me know that they probably weren’t even born yet. The crowd was young, my husband and I were the olds. 

This was a show that was moving, but that was because their acts were demanding it. Yelling out, “make a circle” or “throw ass” will not induce me to do it, I am a real rebel who bucks all authority even that of my idols, but hey to each their own. Maybe if I was younger and less like a bird, I too would be in the front thrashing around, but alas I enjoyed the show the only way I know how - from my perch in the back corner. 

From my view I could see the 4 performers without issue, this is a band with two drummers (one is a co-founder by the name of Danny Eberle), a singer (co-founder Bret Kaser), and another guy on a sampler adding electronic elements to the music (co-founder Connor Kleitz). The drummers are impressive, you can tell that they fucking love it and they were in beat together for music that is fast but also complex in how they switch it up. The lead singer sounded just as weird (but) melodic as he does on the albums. He has a vocal style that is equal parts singing and talking, it is a different form when compared to the talking style that he uses to work the crowd in between the tracks. And the other guy, he was a riot. One of those performers who may have been rolling or just really feels it every time he plays (basically he is a thruster, someone who is fucking the beat that is how much he feels it). 

Okay, but the merchandise was interesting for this tour around the record Theft World (quick side note, the album has a narrative even if the show didn’t really follow it like the first band that I mentioned. This album is about someone stealing Bret Kaser’s identity and fucking his shit up, something that really happened. His pain is our gain as they group used it for the inspiration for their latest release). They had a massive oversize black tote with red letting for the band’s name on one side and the album title on the other. I bought it and I love wearing it out with Theft World facing outward. I have already received a compliment on it when I was in the Dollar General (I bought The Long Walk for what feels like a steal at three dollars) from a women who probably never even heard of the band before and was more of a fan of the act. It fucking made my month.

Back to the merch booth, there was an oversized custom shirt that was over a hundred dollars. Fuck, right?! They also had their albums on vinyl, which was reasonable and something we did not have so we picked those up. Just to remind you again of my age and how much I hate it, I will end this with a story about my kid. Our four year old has been asking for us to put on Lip Critic several times a week since then, he likes the frantic energy and knows that we like it enough to indulge him. Doesn’t that show how much of a cool mom that I am, that I like a weird band so hip that even the toddlers can’t resist them?

Cobrah at Radio/East

Oh shit, here I am posting about the Rebel Ragers Tour like I didn’t shake my tits at Cobrah just weeks after lamenting about how I felt so alone at the Peaches show.

This performance was her first time in our city and was part of the Torn tour for her debut album by the same name. As my friend and I joked when I mentioned that I was catching the Peaches and Cobrah shows this year, this is part of my maiden mother crone worship that will be completed if I can snag a Madonna one before the year is out. Otherwise I think we will be stuck in this sexually regressed timeline, I am sorry for my failures if I don’t cum (bad sexual pun intended) through.

Let us start with one my biggest anxieties about leaving the house: the drive and struggle to find parking. My husband had been to this venue once before, so I avalanched him with questions he could not answer because he is a straight man who does not have my level of anxiety in all the same things. He made it seem like I could get parking near the site, but I couldn’t because this show was sold out and I took my sweet time getting there.

Driving wise it is in what I think of as the warehouse corporate district, my old job Progressive is in the area along with other sprawling office buildings with dedicated parking lots that may be tow happy, so down the street forced to parallel park did I go.

This is a coffee spot with food trucks and trees and seating for their daytime business, that can then convert to a popping night spot with an outdoor stage that will not piss off the neighbors (cause they are keeping office hours). While brilliant, it would be harder to get here if you are depending on the inconsistent public transportation that we have in Austin.

Another thing I want to mention is that it is a beautiful and open location, but the main area that will be used as the stage and dance floor is gravel and reminiscent of an unfinished Texas backyard - meaning that it is not heel friendly. Get sturdy shoes and maybe look into the terrain if you have mobility concerns.

Moving onto the next thing that shakes my nerves, how was it being at a sold out show solo?

This was a happening crowd that represented the Austin queer community, much like Peaches it was very compressed and packed in close to the stage. I was able to secure a good side spot near a couple of guys who were outgoing and drunk enough that they had to chat it up with those around them, my awkward self included. I am half deaf from youthful bad decisions, and with the earplugs I wear at concerts now I could only hear every other thing but their kindness and looking out for those around them made a difference. When I popped a squat because my old knees could not carry my stick legs anymore, one of them dropped down ready to sober me up or pull me out of a heat stroke. I had to make my apologies if I scared them, but fucking good on them for being aware of the messes around them.

Before we talk about her outfits, the clothing and kindness from the crowd was skanky and pure. This was a show that dressed to impress.

I did worry about Cobrah though with the lighting and Texas heat, she was wearing flesh toned lingerie with a mesh long sleeve body suit. It had to be stifling being overtly sexy while sweating your tits off, or at least that is what I think whenever it is still nineties degrees at night and I am wearing a tiny little outfit that is sliding off my body with my sweat.

Her set design was sleek and at times appears to be a bedroom on a pedestal. Like Peaches, she was accompanied by two dancers, these being brunette ladies that were also in their chonies that showed off how cut their bodies were as they rolled in timed to the beats. It would seem that she was "singing” more to a track than other performers I have seen, but this is a show that is more about the production. It has the pulsating lights and the pounding bass, I imagine it is hard to hit the moans or words with the same breathy tone as she incorporates hairography that may result in an occupational injury.

Much like the venue, there is a trade off when it comes to aesthetics. These things are not the worst downsides to encounter, just things that need to be considered.

Overall the show was amazing, one in which she was able to play most of her works because her songs are short and her catalog right now consists of EPs and this album. So of course I wanted more, which I think is was she wants and needs from her audience.

“Dog” has been on repeat since, and is the perfect compliment to my movie of the summer, Pillion.

Rebel Ragers Tour

I will disappoint you (or uphold the viewpoint you have that I am a vapid consumerist with no morals) with this one. You see my complaints about the Big Boi, M.I.A, and Kid Cudi show at the Germania Insurance Amphitheater won’t be about how M.I.A. started the disaster off with a (bamboo)bang(er), but how much I fucking hate the place.

It is massive and has been renamed. I believe the first time I was there, I was still able to snag affordable seats to see Elvis Costello with then coworkers, and it was still called the Circuit of the Americas. Since then I have been so frugal as to regulate myself to the general lawn for multi touring acts like Incubus and the Deftones. 

So far my most memorable and enjoyable time was when I was able to see Death Cab for Cutie with friends. The tickets were free and the nostalgia was being aided by my first heavy go of drinking post baby.  

“So I should have known better,” is then best way to sum up this show. 

I should have known better how crappy it would be to park, get to the gates, have a bag that passes the arbitrary policies. I should have known better that the view and experience is crap, that I would be spending a lot of money on public high school cafeteria quality food and festival level merchandise. I should have know better that it would start on time and that if I was late, I would be missing what I paid for since I was more into the opening acts then the headliner. 

Oh and I definitely knew better when it came to the antics M.I.A. would pull.

When I first bought the tickets for my husband and I, I reasoned it out with the idea that I would like all the music that would be playing. I would probably be asking my husband to stay out longer since I was the one that was more of a fan of all three artists.

The night of, I was the one ready to book it. We had a wet and unusually cool spring and summer, so the temperature was dipping and the walk and first part of the show was in the rain. I am always a bit late now of days, so by the time we got on the shuttle and through the front gates we can tell Big Boi was into his set.

Fuck.

He played a free show on campus in the last year that we both missed for legit reasons (work and we felt it would have been packed with the college youths). So this was a big pull for us to only get to see half of his songs. This would carry on for each artist.  

What we did see was full of energy, he gave a standard rap performance with a DJ booth set up and another rapper to help back him up. He played a medley of his music, but it seemed most of it was the songs that he is known for in Outkast. Because we fucked up in missing his set, yes I would watch him again if given the chance.

Now remember how we missed most of M.I.A’s set as well? It was because I was hungry for the shit food and I needed to waste my money. 

The Big Boi shirts were too expensive, but I knew I wanted something from my crazy girl M.I.A. Before the show we talked about how if she would be selling her anti-vac conspiracy wear and yes there was crumpled up tin foil looking bags that were so overpriced that it restored my faith that humanity will continue to grift no matter what the science says. I picked up one of her long sleeve shirts with a crazy pattern, excited to cosplay at the expense of my pocket book and at the expense of a woman with, I am sure, a complicated mental health state given the things she has said. And because it was chilly, I spent most of her set in the bathrooms behind the stage taking a piss and then layering that shit up.

We made it to the lawn to see her bring people on stage, hear a comment meant to bait the audience, and then get cut off mid “Paper Planes” for bringing all those people on stage. The crowd watched in silence as people twerked to what seemed like nothing, leaving them to build the theories that would start to pop up on Reddit. 

While waiting in line before all of this though, two things happened. My cousins spotted me, that was the only legit cool bit: that they were there as well. I was my awkward self and ran off before we could selfie. 

The other and actual pertinent thing was I did hear a female couple in the crowd call her MAGA with disgust, but for the most part just like Regina Spektor I would say the crowd was complicit, or more than likely (which is worst) they just did not give a fuck.

Then Kid Cudi came on and we listened to it for a bit before I was able to convince my husband I was done and I wanted to start the trek back home before everyone else. I would say he has passion for his music, but he is not the most talented singer or performer. Personally, his lyrics or beats just do not hit the same way that Big Boi or M.I.A. does. Still solid, but more of an at home album experience than live one for me. Which, is another “I should have known better” thing because duh I have listened to his albums.

While I am a sell out, let me just say that as much as I am trying to be woke I am also aware that I like music and art and movies and tv and jokes and books from people who are a range of dumb fucks to outright monsters. 

I like M.I.A., but way before this concert I was made aware that she was saying some questionable things about American politics and health policies that made me take a step back from respecting her as much as I once did. What she had to say in the past about borders and the immigrant experience was something that I was not hearing in the music I was listening to at the time, but what she is saying now just makes me side eye her and do a southern, “bless her heart,” cause it is dumb and I am sure tied up to things and experiences in her life that I cannot understand. I am not going to stop liking her music, I just have to like it ironically (90s Alanis Morissette style). 

It also consoles me that she is not an American voter, so while her poor opinions have an impact I wager it is less than Stevie Nicks. Who admitted in her show that she didn’t start voting until the last election and the apathy that rich (American) people express in that situation is more soul crushing than M.I.A.’s comments. 

And yeah Kid Cudi and everyone else in the audience should have known better too. 

Regina Spektor at the Moody Theater (08/05/2025)

Going to see Regina Spektor perform was a mistake. Which is confusing because I feel like finding out she was touring kicked me out of the depressed stage of I-am-old-and-doing-nothing-with-my-life to full on participating in my mid-life crisis with glee. The enthusiasm and discovery that she was coming to town made me look into other shows. I found that the music scene in Austin is not dead and dropped some cash on people I have to see.

She was the soundtrack to my indie high school years. From one mentally unstable teen to another, I heard Regina Spektor played on someone else’s iPod Nano on the ride to their house during lunch. I then downloaded all that I could (viruses included) using my LimeWire account so I could burn CDs, that I would play when driving coworkers to our scammy job selling laptops at a booth in the mall. And thus the contagion was spread from one girl to another in our high school.

While those friendships may have crashed and burned, I still know some people with the nostalgia for her music and those years, so this was a concert at the Moody Theater that I attended with friends. One of which knew how insufferable I was at that time and still stuck around, to see me wear a thrifted dress 20 years later that I insist is giving Mod Cloth vibes (it was a light blue, sheer, with a Peter Pan color, and little mushrooms all over).

We took photos as we walked the dizzying heights to get to our balcony seats. Perfect for social media, the exercise, and I will say price for the seats. There is not a bad spot in this venue, just more expensive and better ones. I went with the side balcony that overlooks the stage and for most of the performance we could almost see her facial expressions as she played the piano. Or maybe someone with better vision could, even with my contacts I don’t have the best low light vision.

The other show I have gone to for this venue (that I recall) was Louis C.K., before he got called out for being a creep. And after this show, plus some of the others that they have on their calendar, I will say that they do not turn down a performer with controversy to their name (as Louis C.K. has several upcoming shows in the next few months, as well as Matt Rife). Also their drinks are expensive, but that is to be expected.

Right before her show, like a week before, Reddit explodes with drama from an earlier performance in which Palestinian protesters used her concert as a time to call out the genocide in Gaza. She did not handle it the way I would like, and from the too late research I ended up doing, I found out I was supporting someone who was lacking in the type of empathy I hope to see in others. From her Wikipedia page, she does not see herself as a Zionist but the inability to separate the Israeli goals from how it created an unjust state on lands that it is occupying is hard to get over. THE GUILT WAS EATING ME ALIVE. As it should.

I did not need to worry, because the crowd was not going to cause a scene that would create a moral conundrum (should I walk out with the others). I got to be a coward and enjoy the show. As a crowd we were uniform looking acolytes, or as my friend yelled at me in half mocking drunken rage after, “You all look like trad wives!” Yes I was wearing pearl studs to go with my dress, so he wasn’t wrong, especially as he felt truly alone and not represented in the crowd. In Austin, the venue was packed and we were not going to disappoint their quirky songstress.

The songs she played were perfect solo performances in which she moved from piano to electric guitar to stomping and then back to piano. There was a range of songs, although there was no “Samson,” I heard “Us,” “Après Moi,” and “That Time.” So she played a smattering of songs from each album, but the key word was solo. It was just her, her voice, the instrument, and a light show. It was a bit selfish, she even did a self indulgent rendition of the song named after her “Reginasaurus.”

I felt emotion, but it wasn’t just her words or singing it was the arrangement. How can I recapture driving around after curfew with my window rolled down singing “Us” at the top of my youthful lungs as I coat them with tar, getting cool air and being able to run with it instead of my broken a/c, back before it became forever hot and impossible to do.

Her views, or lack of solidarity is heavy on my mind. At the same time, I want to see her paying musicians to give us a full experience when she is on tour. So I did the least I could do, which was ignore the merch booth. Listen, I am a consumer and I will buy a t-shirt and other things so I can wear it in public. I am actively trying to get people to ojo me with envy, it gives me life. But not this show.

Maybe for Blonde Redhead?! Unless, there is something I should look into…

Alice Longyu Gao at the 29th St Ballroom (05/10/2025)

I went to a show. I drove, at night, by myself to campus during graduation weekend and parked at the abandoned Trudy’s. The last time I was there, Trudy’s was maybe not abandoned and Spider House Cafe might still have been called that. The one time I ate at that Trudy’s, they had profiled my friend and refused to serve him alcohol with his paper ID. That had to been over ten years ago.

Because you know, I am old. 

I think I hit my post baby stride. It only took four years. Judging by this excursion, and the three other tickets I bought in less then a month for two upcoming concerts and a music festival, I want to get back to my youth. Be a cool hot mom who did not lose herself. Skanking it up in a monogamous way and through my love of music. 

That is why I thought my first solo show out should be Alice Longyu Gao at the 29th St Ballroom. I had fun, it was a success, and I am not here with any regrets. But like all my experiences I live in my head, so any distasteful or cunty tone to be found in this recollection is because the stress killed my fun and it is easier to judge then to be vulnerable, or some other justification an old cynic would say.

I claimed to my husband I had been to a show there before, but now that I think about it maybe I was morphing the unfinished space with any number of venues that benefit from their location within the live music capital of the world. Got an unfinished and sloping cement floor, an exposed ceiling that you can throw a grid up with random lights and speakers you gutted from another business? Then all you need is a rudimentary bar with the IPAs and hard seltzers that are popular with 20 years olds that is your target audience, two stall bathrooms if you are classy (single style shit-holes for the gents and gals if you are not), and a DJ booth that was pulled from a defunct strip club (that may have gone out of business because their set up was so outdated).

What makes 29th St Ballroom unique is that the women’s restroom has a wallpaper theme on the upper half of the walls. It is plastered with the pages from the book that is the plot device for the movie The Ninth Gate. It seemed random, but maybe I needed to wander around some more in order to see the other signs or references to the movie throughout the space.

Or shit, maybe me entering the venue was me entering the ninth gate?

If we go back to initial impressions, I was not into the opening act. So, a maybe on the hell thing.

The Dallas Cowboys is a duo of tall young masked batmen, who the headliner would later confirm is not actually from Dallas. 

I did not get nor like the opener. Like a short grumpy thumb in fishnet, I stood out towards the back, scowling at their earnest rendition of their hits. I came in late, so I did not have to hear the whole thing, but from what I could tell they were energetic crowd pleasers. Those up front to the “stage" bopped and thrashed about as the two jumped into a song from the album they wrote about the Bob’s Burgers movie. I think they were disappointed and channeled their frustration into an art concept album they named Louise. They explained themselves, but since I was being a curmudgeon this paragraph is half correct and something I should fact check.

I was stoked when they announced they were playing their last song, but then I stifled a groan when I heard the non-hoodie batman mention that it would be a throwback to their ska days. I am not a ska fan, and when I mentioned being a skank early I was describing my base sleazy nature, one that does not involve horns. Anyway, their crowd went wild and I kept my distance.

Once it was over, I shuffled my way closer to the stage. I felt more comfortable stretching and dancing to the mix of dance and rap that played between their sets and before Alice Longyu Gao performed, but as the crowd closed in that panic of being surrounded stiffened my movement. Now that a couple of days have passed, I can reflect on how nothing bad happened, the music was great, and being more free to jump around would still result in having fun, but I also mentioned in the beginning that I had no regrets and that is more true.

This was an intimate show, but not like that time the Ataris played at the White Rabbit in San Antonio (I was one of five in the audience and that my have been generous/me counting some staff). I was never good at guesstimating though, so around fifty? Her crowd seemed to double in size, a chemical reaction caused by the energy she brought, it helped the group grow as they pulsated to her beats.

Alice Longyu Gao came onto stage with a half size harp, her laptop, and controller and was ready to perform after a brief sound check. Her energy from the start to finish matches the genre she is known for, hyper pop, with quick songs that are fun, inappropriate, and relatable to the party kids of today. She is a weirdo in the coolest way, she uses her random thoughts as irreverent subject material worthy of a song that is as eclectic as the elements she incorporates into the music. All of which fits into the theme of the tour, and the feeling that she is branding herself successfully to a queer subculture that could appreciate her genius. 

This tour is about a debut trilogy (and her claiming that she is so badass that she gets three debuts at once). Not knowing the music industry, or what factors into how music is released, I feel that a lot of this is on the artist to market and set up. 

She selected different, but popular songs, from the three EPs she has released, with a visual artwork and screener playing in the background containing the song title and symbols important to the piece. Her EPs are a mix of metal and pop, and her lyrics and ability to hit the line begs for her audience to jump (except for me - my knees are wrecked from years of living and dropping it low). Before each song she would tell a story or give context, at one point apologizing for her voice giving out since The Dallas Cowboys were smokers who encourage the habit. She did not need to, it did not seem as bad as she may have thought and any rawness on her vocals works with her style of pop.

While she mentioned an achievement (that her song “Gnarly” was number one on Spotify under a pop artist group), she did not play the song other than to give some context to why she think things are gnarly. That is a fine song, but not the only one to show off her perception of American and California culture. A man singing about loving Korean girls, hearting lesbians, or being big in Brazil - questionable and not at all surprising when they are exposed for being a dirt bag, but when coming from Alice Longyu Gao…let me dance to it (and I would be shocked and asking where were the signs if she was ever canceled)!

The show was well paced and quick. I believe the only song that I missed hearing or was not played was “.Sex”. It makes sense if it wasn’t played, since it is an intimate track (that word again).

She prefaced the last song by warning us there would be no encore (and with no mention of ska). She kept to her word and ended the night by saying once again “no encore,” but also emphasized being safe when getting home. And I was, even when driving past someone rolling around campus with no lights, I was home by midnight.

If it was hell, I got to breathe in the youthful and pungent air and to leave unscathed. I was able to walk back out to my reality. So yeah, definitely worth it.

The New Jim Crow and my current state (of sadness)

Okay, I am willing to admit it I am hitting that overwhelming and constant depressed feeling. It could be the time of year, but really I think I am falling into despair because of the events that we are finding ourselves in. I have been thinking and over analyzing my part in everything and now I am too critical and at a critical point. 

The things I am clinging onto as my joy, in a way to reverse psychology myself into a delusional state, are not working. Just know that there was a crush of overwhelming shame and sadness and fatalism when my eyes go dead for a second.

I may need to take a break on the serious non-fiction reads, from the shit that is happening overseas to what we are dealing with in our own backyards, I need to find a more sustainable consumption rate. 

I finished The New Jim Crow and then tried to jump into a book mentioned, and because the subject matter is pertinent and about home I found myself succumbing to defeat, when these books are meant to advocate and illuminate our current surroundings. Not the authors fault at all, just trying to make sense of where I am.

Michelle Alexander’s critical look at how the current policies and response to the emancipation of enslaved people, and how it lead us to the current criminal state, makes it an important work when it comes to understanding American society today. As a civil rights lawyers who is passionate to tell a collective history that she is part of, I can see how this may not be for everyone and yet I would say it should be required reading for all Americans. Her passion and anger in the injustice of it all is clear throughout, her skill and intelligence as a lawyer means that there is indisputable data and citations to support her arguments and conclusions, and though nearly 15 years old and missing some of the new crimes that the police state has wrought on people of color - it is still relevant to what is going on this moment.

The author shows how the current criminal justice system is biased, set to disenfranchise large segments of American society, and the many political and supreme court decisions that created this beast. While the end offers some solutions, what this work does is expose the complexity and similarity with the new system that took over for Jim Crow, so the end result would call for radical restructuring and dismantling of those systems.

Maybe you could see how I am feeling in the face of this, especially since in Texas it is an upwards battle to have those in power recognize the rights of anyone that isn’t a rich white man. 

To feel sad is to have an heart. To be human is to be fucked up. But I have to remember that at least I feel shame and that one day I may have the chance to do right and make up for all the micro and outright aggressions I have shown others in my life. It is not like I made a law that made it impossible for others to get a settlement that I had previously sought and won for myself, became governor, and then allowed women and children to die because of my bonkers border policies. 

My sad girl playlist for the day while writing:

1. Let’s Have a War - A Perfect Circle

2. I Don’t Want to Know - Fleetwood Mac

3. Two-Timing Touch and Broken Bones - The Hives

4. Budget - Megan the Stallion and Latto

5. Eli, the Barrow Boy - The Decembrists

6. Mr. P.C. - John Coltrane

7. You’re a Woman, I’m a Machine _ Death from Above 1979

8. You Wouldn’t Like Me - The Beths

9. A Strange Day - The Cure

10. Three Days - Jane’s Addiction